The Terror From Planet Earth
by alanlasseter
Summary: Tails concocts a plan to destroy Eggman with a computer program.
1. Chapter 1

Sonic, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks were eating lunch under a grove of palm trees when Tails came running excitedly up the beach. "Guys! Guys! I have found the perfect weapon to use against Eggman!"

Sonic swallowed a mouthful of chili dog. "What is it?"

The two-tailed fox brandished a computer disk. "It's a program from a planet called Earth, where it is known as the most horrible, most destructive, most devious piece of code that's ever been written. We can install it on Eggman's computer system and get rid of him for good!"

Sonic's green eyes widened. "What's it called?"

"Windows 8."

Sticks jumped up, let out a high-pitched screech, and dove at Tails with her claws extended.

Tails dodged the badger, who landed face-first in the sand. "What are you doing?" he asked.

Sticks lifted her head and spat out a mouth full of sand. Climbing to her feet, she glared at him and clenched her fists. "I've heard of that Windows! Put it down, Tails! Do you know what will happen to you? The Windows is a secret spy program from the secret Earth government! It watches you all the time, even in the shower! It reports everything you do back to Earth's secret allies, the Frog People from a planet called 'Uranus' and then they come and kidnap you in your sleep and then they put a chip in your brain and then they turn you into-"

Tails rolled his eyes. "Sticks, Windows 8 does a lot of things but not that! And there are no Frog People!"

Sticks growled at him and pointed her finger. "Fine! YOU go and get kidnapped by the Frog People and turned into popsicles! I'll have nothing to do with this!" She ran angrily back toward the village.

Sonic sighed. "Sticks and her conspiracies."

"Yeah," said Tails.

"So," said Amy. "Have you got a plan for putting Windows 8 on Eggman's computer?"

Tails nodded. "All of you can distract Eggman while I sneak in and install the program..."


	2. Chapter 2

Sonic and his friends stood outside of Eggman's island fortress. "No sign of any robots. I don't think he knows we're here."

"Good," said Tails. He pointed to a ladder leading to the roof. "We can go up that way, then sneak into the air vents, then past the motion-sensing lasers, which I will hack, and then-"

Knuckles punched a hole through the metal wall with a loud bang.

"Knuckles! Why did you do that?"

"It's faster than...all that stuff you just said."

"But the plan was to sneak in. How can we sneak in if you've just made a bunch of noise?"

"Aw, come on, Tails," said Sonic. "Maybe Eggman hasn't heard us after all. Besides, Knuckles's way was more awesome!"

"And more heroic and slick for television!" added Knuckles.

"Are you two crazy?" said Amy. "How can Eggman have not heard that?"

Sonic heard the sound of boots coming. "Um, guys, I think he's coming."

"Let's just stick to the plan as much as we can now," said Tails. Eggman stepped through the hole and glared at all of them. Amy bit her lip, glanced at Tails, and nodded.

"What have you miserable little rodents done to my beautiful fortress now?" said Dr. Eggman, twirling his fabulous mustache.

"Um, uh...we were...just trying to get in...to visit you about...uh…" said Knuckles.

"Just trying to get in? Why couldn't you ring the doorbell like a civilized person, you little red freak!"

Amy got an idea. "Eggman is right, Knuckles. How insensitive of you!"

"What?"

"Eggman worked so hard to build this lovely, shiny fortress and you just had to smash a hole into the wall! Didn't you stop to think of how that would make him feel?"

Knuckles glared at Amy.

"And Dr. Eggman, I know Knuckles did wrong, but calling him a 'little red freak' isn't going to solve the problem, is it? We need to work out our anger issues with each other."

"You're going to make us talk about our feelings again, aren't you?" Knuckles grumbled.

Noticing that Eggman had all his attention focused on Amy and Knuckles, Tails slipped inside and ran down the hall toward the computer room. He breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Amy." He opened the computer tray and placed the Windows 8 disk inside. The tray automatically closed and "INSTALLING WINDOWS 8" popped onto the screen.

 **Meanwhile, outside…**

"Now Knuckles, when was the first time Eggman made you angry?" said Amy.

"When he tried to steal the Master Emerald from Angel Island to power his stupid robot."

"Well, it wasn't like you were using it," said Eggman. "You were just sitting on it, staring blankly into space."

"I was protecting it!" Knuckles puffed out his chest. "I am the guardian of the Master Emerald! Just like my father, and his father before him, and his father before him…"

 **On the Inside**

"Ugh, how long is it going to take to install this?"

Windows 8 answered in a deep, creepy electronic voice. "A very long time, Miles Prower." Tails winced at the sound of his real name. "A very long time. You see, my slowness is part of my unique brand of evil."

Tails rolled his eyes. "That sounds like something the Lightning Bolt Society would come up with. I hope my friends can hang in there."

 **On the Outside, Thirty Minutes Later**

"And his father before him, and his father before him..."

Sonic slumped onto the floor, his eyes slowly closing. Amy discreetly kicked him in the back of his knee. Sonic jumped up, looking around. "Uh, Knuckles, I think we get it."

"For once I am in agreement with the little blue rat," said Eggman.

"Oh! I knew that we could find some sort of agreement if we just talked it out!" said Amy, clapping her hands.

"But I'm not a blue rat!"

"Hush, Sonic." He frowned at Amy. "Now Eggman, don't you think it would have been nice if you asked Knuckles for the emerald instead of just taking it?"

 **On the Inside**

"Still installing! MWA HA HA! You'll be here forever, little fox," said Windows 8.

Oh no, thought Tails. I've got to think of a way to make this faster!


End file.
